I started failing in my sport, my self confidence and self esteem plummeted.
This lead to years of self loathing, self destructive behaviours, lead to me not respecting myself and making poor choices and all because I felt like an ugly, fat reject.
None of which were true.
It's taken me decades to unravel the damage, to change my perception of myself and my amazing body. I started running, originally, just as a way to control my weight, how ironic that I find out years years later, that running helps but isn't the fastest route to fat loss now I know a much quicker way to get there.
I pushed my body to extremes firstly to control my weight and later to prove that I was worth something, that I wasn't useless like I had been told over and over.
And then a beautiful thing happened. My running became a release, a way to feel more in control, and to channel my considerable determination into more positive pursuits.
Running and fitness training rebuilt my life, the experiences I had, the obstacles I faced, the struggles I experienced, the limits I broke through changed massively, the way I saw myself.
